DEFLATED

I was doing so well.  I managed to squeeze my first two training runs in this week.  I had logged over 12 hours at the new job on Tuesday and Wednesday...AND pushed myself to run sometime after 9 pm on both days.  Not to mention they were GREAT runs.  I had today all planned out.  School, errands, group run and abs class.  I didn't get out of class until nearly 3 pm and my errands were cut short due to the immense hunger I felt deep down in my belly.  I decided at this point it would be best if I just stayed in Blountville and ran on my own.  I had a VERY tough course in mind.  I ate a cookie (GU has just as much sugar, so don't hate!) and purchased a sugar free Rockstar to help muster up the energy I would need for the hilly course around my house.  I put in my infamous Lil Jon CD and got "crunk" on my way home from Kingsport.  The thunderstorm was also headed right for me.  I CAN DO THIS, DAMMIT.

Got home.  Let the dog out.  Checked the radar.  Saw the BIG flashes of lightning.  Started getting sleepy.  Started getting hungry.  Started to realize I might not be able to do this.  Storm showed up.  Started cooking dinner.  Realized I would have to run after the storm passed.  Planned on running a gazillion laps in my neighborhood after my food settled...in the dark.  Started to feel sleepy again.  Put in a load of laundry.  Watched the gully washer outside.  Felt the failure creeping up my leg.  Screw this.  I'm not going.

I feel like my excuses are just that...excuses.  Just because I fell asleep standing up TWICE this week doesn't mean I'm too tired to train, right?  Just because I fell asleep in class this morning and accidentally wrote all over my face with an ink pen doesn't mean I'm too tired to train, right?  I don't know how the "ironfolks" do this shit.  I'm exhausted.  Not even from running...just from my crazy life as a medic student.  My runs actually make me feel better, but I couldn't muster up the "whatever" I needed to accomplish tonight's run. 

I know it's normal to miss a few runs, but I feel like I've failed.  I'm by no means a professional, but I do take some pride in getting stuff done in the midst of my crazy schedule.  Today I gave in...and I don't like it.